Light's Diary
by ThJo
Summary: How is it like, working with the world's greatest detective? Let's take a look at Light's diary to find out!


Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or any of it's characters.

**A/N:** Hi there^.^ This is currently just a oneshot. Later on, I might add another chapter (though if I do, it won't have much connection with this one - not like a continuation or anything, just another story from Light's diary), so if you REALLY like this story, you might want to put it on your alerts. But just - don't hold your breath for it or anything, because I'm not guaranteeing I'll write more;)

And also, if you like this, you might want to leave a review...?

Okay, on to the story!

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Dear Diary,

It was all L's fault, really. Shouldn't come as a surprise – everything is his fault, that sneaky little panda. I was sitting at my desk as usual, typing away on the computer, when a voice suddenly said from behind me: "What are you doing?" I was far into my own world and didn't expect any voices, so I jumped five centimetres into the air and fell off my chair. Ouch. When I looked up, I got an even greater shock. L was standing over me. His eyes were beaming with excitement. His hair was tousled. His lips were stretched into a happy smile. He was wearing a carrot costume.

"Why are you wearing a carrot costume?" I asked. L smiled even broader. "Because it's the official vegetable day!" he exclaimed happily. "…Um…" I was dumbstruck. I'd never heard of the official vegetable day. "Do not worry," L beamed, "I thought you probably would forget to buy a costume, so I bought one for you!" He held up some green clothes. I looked at them. He couldn't be serious.

"There is no way I'm dressing up like a pea."

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Apparently, if I did _not_ dress up like a pea it would improve my chances of being Kira by 80 percent. Don't ask me why. So what could I do? I started putting on my hideous pea-costume, all the time growling unhappily. "Why on earth do you celebrate the official vegetable day anyway?" I asked. "You never eat any vegetables. Only sweets." "That is correct," L said. "But a lot of the people in this world do not have my brain capacity. For these poor souls, eating sweets as their only food would kill them. They either have to eat vegetables, meat, or nothing at all. So to show my support to the billions of animals killed gruesomely every year in the meat industry, I am celebrating the official vegetable day." "By dressing up as a carrot." "Yes." "…"

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"Well, who could have imagined! You look smashing!" I looked at myself in the mirror. I was dressed in green tights, a green sweater and a green ball that was cut in two, so half of it cowered my back and the other my front. "Smashing" was not the word I would've chosen. "At least it can't get any worse," I sighed. L cleared his throat. I looked at him. In his hands he held a box of green face paint and can of green hair spray. "You've gotta be kidding me." "No!" "Hell."

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I looked like some deranged Hulk. It was ridiculous. I wished I'd just stayed in bed. L, on the other hand, was ecstatic. The only light spot was that he had made all the other members of the task force dress up like leafs of salad. Well, except for Matsuda, who was dressed like a bean. He looked even more ridiculous than me.

"Okay, back to work," I said and walked over to my computer. After some trying and failing, I managed to find a comfortable sitting position. Then I noticed that L hadn't moved. "What?" I turned around, frowning. "Liiight…" Oh shit. "Down at the shopping centre, they are having a "take ten, pay for five"-offer on vegetables." "So?" "Soooo…" I suddenly realised what he was up to. "NO! No way! No way I'm going out dressed like this!" "But…" "We don't need any vegetables anyway, no one in the task force is ever going to eat them! NO!" L looked at me with large, dark puppy eyes. I snorted and turned around to the computer. Before I could start working, though, I heard a small voice behind me: "90 percent, Light…" I started banging my head against the desk.

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Outside, the sun was shining. It was a perfect day. At least it was perfect for those who weren't forced to dress up like peas. As we walked down the street, I did my best to hide behind Watari, hoping to avoid attention that way. This might not have been the best of plans, considering he was dressed up like a giant squash, but it was better than nothing. I pondered over how we must look to the passers-by: me, a pea, desperately trying to hide behind the giant Watari-squash, both of us following the excited, bouncing carrot that was L. The thought made me want to cry.

"Here we are!" L exclaimed excitedly when we reached the centre. I looked around me expectantly, but couldn't see anyone else dressed up like vegetables. Apparently, the official vegetable day isn't widely celebrated in Japan.

"L, people are staring at us," I mumbled self-consciously. L didn't seem to hear me; he bounced on into the centre. I sighed, considered going back to the head quarters, then decided that doing so would probably raise the chance of me being Kira by 5000 percent. Seeing as I had no other choice, I followed L into the centre.

Inside, it was chaos. All around there were people dressed up as vegetables. Apparently, everyone had heard about the offer, and now there was a war going on between everyone who wanted lots of free vegetables. Not. To be honest, it was a completely normal day, perhaps even a little less people than usual. I looked around for the bouncing carrot. L was heading for the food department, and I hurried to catch up with him. When I did, he was already at the vegetable stand, busy pestering the people who worked there.

"I want three hundred carrots, five hundred potatoes, two hundred cabbages – no, wait, make that three hundred – six hundred salad heads… ah, there you are," he said as I walked up to him. "How many broccolis? Four or five hundred?" "Zero. I don't like broccoli." "No? Me neither, come to think of it. Never mind, we'll say five. Better with too much than too little, do you not agree? Oh, and we will also need…"

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When he had bought all the vegetables in the shop and ordered a trailer to bring them to the HQ, we started walking back. Words can't describe how relived I felt right then. Finally I would be out of the eye of the public! I'd still not be allowed to take my costume off, but at least there would be no one there to stare and point at me.

Suddenly I noticed that L was no longer walking beside me. I turned around, fearing the worst, and spotted him standing there reading a notice the shopping centre had put up. I walked over to him and read: "On the 6th of November it is 100 years since Barbie was created! To celebrate all Barbies will be sold for 50% of their original price!" I looked over at L. He was staring at the poster, lost in his own world. I poked him in the arm. "So, we're going then?" I asked nervously. L turned to look at me with bright, happy, beaming eyes. "Light! Look at this! The official Barbie-day! Obviously, this will call for celebration. Actually, I think I have the perfect…"

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_From the local paper, glued into Light's diary:_

"_Yesterday, two fighting men in the shopping centre had to be forced apart by the police. The two men were dressed up, one of them as a carrot and the other as a pea. When they were asked about the reason for the fighting, the pea answered "Pink doesn't suit my eyes", before he started crying hysterically. Witnesses have stated that while they were being taken away to the police station, the pea was still screaming and sobbing, all the time begging Kira to please hurry up and just kill Ryuzaki. It is not known who this Ryuzaki is or what role he had in the fight." _


End file.
